Cyclone NUTS Chronicles #30

November 4, MMVIII

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< Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Domi , Commodore Angel and last but not least Flight Officer Jarek La'an >

Welcome to this, my thirty Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Cyclone, "The Demolition Crew". And here we go again!! When I started to write this report I thought I would need to keep spreading dirty lies around on all sorts of silly inexplicable achievements for the greater glory of Cyclone, but then Vitaru got what it was long overdue and that crazy Lady TACcy decided to prey on me just for fun releasing EVEN MORE battles (w0h0h0h0h0h0h0!!) and daring to put an end to TIE Golf with some good news falling on my side.

So in the end you would think I'm actually going to provide you some useful information while all odds are on me to cheat you again with all sorts of bollocks which only seem interesting to myself. And who am I to go against odds? Face it. But then... why on earth am I writting this?! Could you just tell me...

WHY?!! :____D

I.) But I thought I'd find some Kansas flying farm here!! (aka. Squadron News)

Lieutenant Commander "Alcornocal" Vitaru... I just cannot stand the guy anymore. He's a pain in you-know-where, always annoying around with his excellent performance as an outstanding pilot and officer, let alone his impressive levels of communication which surely you have all suffered in your own flesh thanks to that tool of hell that Wing X mailing list is. But I'm cunning, gentlemen, cunning and vengeful (not Venger, the one-horned dude from D&D, take note :-P)... so mean actually that I couldn't avoid increasing the pressure in your patience yet a little more by bestowing the Lt. Commander more power and responsability. >.-)

That's it! People, feel free to salute Lt. Commander Vitaru, new Cyclone Flight III Leader who will command the dreadful "Gale Providers" from now on! You're now one of my trusty "right hands", Vitaru; don't get me disappointed and start providing trouble and gathering glory for Cyclone at once! You have deserved the right to do so.

Lt. Commander Dalor, Lieutenant Tan: NOW you're screwed! Please don't forget to send your weekly activity reports to your new FL instead of me. And if you are ever in need of some help don't hesitate to punish him as necessary... and not me... BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! No, seriously: that's more an excellent way for LCM Vitaru to improve as maybe a future CMDR than my dirty excuse to get rid of you and your problems. If he finds himself unable to help you with your problems I'll be always here and you're free to contact me directly whenever you want. ;-)

For the rest of you... my most sincere condolences... ^_^

Well, well... the last Cyclone-only competition we had last month was a fiction/graphics one... and in the end I only recieved one single entry... I'll say even more: ONE SINGLE ENTRY for it. Not good, lady and gentlemen, not good by any means. Especially if we want to show everybody else our motivation towards the upcoming Raise the Flag; our motivation to keep our deserved "TCCOM's Own" title, that's it! Oh, btw, if you want to know the final results of "Let there be FUN from TROUBLE" check out the "Squadron Status" section just below this one.

BUT! Just when I was going to set Cyclone quarters on fire for you, my minions, to think twice before slackering again something very relieving came to mind: that last competition was not a flying one!! 0__0 Of course! That's obviously the reason why you decided to not give a damn for it, how could I be so blind? And you're mainly skillful and deadly TIE Corps pilots, aren't you? Of course you are!! And so I bring you the best way to demonstrate me what I *know* to be a fact...

"Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!", the new Cyclone-only competition already approved by the Training Office. And IT IS a flying one! Basically all Cyclone pilots are called to fly 4 FREE missions (or at least as many as you can given the games you may have), one for each game platform, and then submit me their pilot files so I can tally the final scores. This is a classic Highscore-hunting flying competition! So... listen and be enlightened:

      - Competition time: starts this Wednesday 5th and will last 'till Wednesday 19th (two weeks).
      - FREE missions involved: TIE-FREE 270, XvT-FREE 220, XWA-FREE 140 and XW-FREE 10.
      - Awards: IS-BW for the highest scorer on each game platform. An additional IS-BW for anybody scoring more than myself on ANY of the missions (but only 1 IS-BW per pilot this way!). And yet another IS-BW for anybody flying ALL 4 FREE missions. YES, the XW one too... >:) I'll make my own scores public on further reports as I fly them in days ahead.

And that's all: as easy as to fly a few and send me your files later, doing your best in order to level everybody else to dust compared to you. Oh, and please listen carefully what you have to do after flying any XW battle/mission so we can count it for your Combat Record and process it: you must first install and fly it as explained on the readme file (no matter if you install the files on MISSION or CLASSIC folder as long as it's the same folder of your current difficulty level). Aaaaaaaand, as soon as you have completed the mission you must TAKE A SCREENHOT OF YOUR SCORES WINDOW ('ALT+O' when the scores appear and they get saved as a BMP at XW main folder, although you won't get any notice until you check the folder itself; the game doesn't tell you anything) as if it was for a MP match. Then you must send me not only the pilot file, but ALSO THE SCREENSHOT and only, by Palpatine's sakes, only... AFTER HAVING CONVERTED IT FROM BMP to JPG or GIF or something else weighting less than a ·[™Å]{"¬& Megabyte. Feel free to either "zip" or "rar" the pilot file and the screenshot together. Not necessary to say that if you were flying a full battle and not only a FREE mission you would need from as many screenies as missions on that battle... (*sigh*) Damn, I hope to have been clear enough here; don't hesitate to forward me any doubts you may have on this one! Better that than seeing some adv. concussion surprise going for your six (and here I mean YOUR six and not your starfighter's one >.-)) after daring to send me up to 4 BMPs or something...

And yet another two new battles released!! Lady Dempsey is on fire, peeps! (if you want to get yourselves killed in some gruesome way you just need to take this last assertion wrong enough :_P) Anyways, do your best for these two to fall into Cyclone citations! :-D Because we need some citations, you know. In case anybody here doesn't know yet what a citation is just come HERE and look for "Squadron Citations"; there you have it. Now if you sorta *NEED* to know how many of those do we have right now feel free to scroll down 'till the "Squadron Roster & Citations" section and look there... ejem... yeah, sadly that's what happens without a database to keep track of those thingies... :-L

XvT-TC 131 : Mousetrap by FA Anahorn Dempsey
TIE-FREE 276 : PIRATES! by FA Anahorn Dempsey

TIE Golf 2008 is finally over. I won. I got the "Grand Champion" title. And I was bestowed one of these:

But hang me if I'm as happy as I was hoping to be in these circumstances; where's that accursed Kappa dude Lt. Colonel Tempest when you need him?! WHERE?!!! Hmmmmpfff... ~¬¬ Oh well, if anybody suddenly decides to waste his life looking silly low scores which soon will be forgotten HERE you have the detailed final results of this splendid yearly competition. May we meet again next year. My most sincere congratulations and admiration for those who decided to play with me there. It has been an honour to fly with you! ^_^

TIE Golf
|-o-| GOLF!!!

Well, let's see... I spend my preciousssss time on all sorts of Multiplayer propaganda trying for all of you to have some fun coming from the pleasures of vaping and obliterating human opponents instead your silly CPUs and then I join Battlestats as COOA to see that the only """"EH officer"""" who actually played there last month was... Lieutenant Xgmx I, The Retarded® And then, still trembling and doing my best to breath again, I check out DJB's ICTE site and see that many people flew there but not a single EH officer except CM Blade Joloc and she doesn't belong to Wing X but to... to... OMEGA by Palpatine's sakes! Not good, people, not good... It's fine to fly for "24/7 LoCs" but don't forget that if you want to achieve REAL glory for The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet you should focus your efforts in winning inter-club events! Besides, I'm pretty sure that nowadays you'll get yourselves much more flying experience fighting on those. I came, I looked, I advertised... [MP/2] IWATS Course where you can find all details on joining BSC and using The Errant Venture server client to locate your opponents, not to mention [AMP] where you can learn several dirty tricks and tactics in order to defeat your enemies by the book are uploaded into Cyclone site. And I promised to grade them under request even nowadays. So far...

WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?!!!

And the first one telling me that last month I didn't fly either will recieve some kind explanation on how I wasn't able to do so given my hellish workload as CMDR & TCS in maybe the most difficult times we have had in years, merrily followed by a Space Bomb (650 BLS) especially branded for him. >:P

( Spoilers... Well, to be completely honest, when looking for a new Flight Leader to command all a Cyclone Flight, I was actually looking for someone with the strongest motivation and the utmost dedication to his Squadron. Someone actually worthy of wearing the FL position code cylinder on this, my almighty Squadron. TCCOM's Own! WC's Own! Not everybody is suited for such an honour! I was looking for THIS guy:

And in the end I had to accept Vitaru's application... The Fleet has definitely seen better days I tell you! :-P )

II.) As if we haven't enough already with all the TC database stuff!! (aka. Squadron Status and On-going Competitions)

The searching for a new Cyclone Flight III Leader is over. NOW 'da house' seems tidy enough for we to start focusing on the upcoming Raise the Flag. However, I should state here and now that maybe the most important task you all could undertake on behalf of your Squadron is TO RECRUIT. Sadly, with the lacking of a working database we aren't able to make those new Cadets' lifes miserable anymore trying for them to join us. We don't even have a PLT Daedalus for them to train, which makes the efforts of those who finally managed to complete their trainings (hey, Siriah and Ashkar! ;-)) even more valuable and worthy of the highest recognition... So, until we can have it back some way or another, the only way to lure people and fool them to join us would be to spam them in RL itself! Quite a hard and exhausting task, I know... But remember that "Training Office Recruiting Challenge" is still there for you to do your best for your Squadron/Ship and be awarded all an IS-PR for it! I wish you the best out there. And may the Blackmailing Side of the Force be with you! ;-P

"Let there be FUN from TROUBLE", the Cyclone-only fiction/graphics competition we had last month has come to an end with the only participation of Lt. Commander Vitaru. Too bad for the rest of you, but our new Flight Leader definitely deserved the recognition of an Iron Star with Bronze Ribbon for his work. Especially considering the fact that he's not english-native but spanish as myself and the funny fiction he wrote must be seen as all an accomplishment on his side. Excellent work, LCM Vitaru! I just couldn't stop ROFL for some time after reading it and definitely you followed my guidelines on mantaining the respect both Grand Admirals deserve (Darknyte? Heh... You could have made him to cannibalize himself and nobody would have given a damn >:-J). That IS-BR will find its way to you as soon as we have a working awards automatized system again.

For everybody else: find HERE, at "NUTS Pinacotheca" section of Cyclone website, the fiction LCM Vitaru was so kind to write for all of us to have some fun while praying pranks on the highest-ranking people around. I'll also post this one into Cyclone Message Board soon. >;-P

Last word from the Flight Office! It seems that everything necessary will be undertaken for Raise the Flag 2008 to start on... (*drumroll*)

On... (*drumroll*) ...ammm... (*drumroll*) you see... (*drumroll*)

(*drumroll*) ... u¬¬ ...

*Major Zósite makes the moron at the drums to eat his own cymbals... with no salt.*

To start on November 24th!!! Be ready! Be very ready because we're going to release HELL upon anybody daring to question our almighty power and defy us further!! One title, one Squadron! That is my peace! <--- Uther Pendragon dixit ~>;-)

Yet another weekly Cyclone website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to the Internet Officer, AD Joey "Stryfe" Calvey , with the subject: "Please find attached a 200-pages PDF with some features I'd like to see implemented on our new database plus a detailed list of all epic failures you would fall into if you decide to not follow MY instructions."

This section is where I'm going to make public my own scores for "Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!" competition. Stay tuned and try to overscore me on those missions at all costs in order to get yourselves a nice IS-BW! I won't go too rude on you this time; since this is the first flying competition for some of you I'll fly on Medium difficulty level this time. But behold! That doesn't mean you'll be able to defeat me only by flying on Hard. I'll do my best there so it won't be a walk in the park for ya! Face it. >:-F

II.a) Squadron Competitions

( Without the database don't expect ALL those "Details links" to work... but worth a try :-\ )

Cyclone Mayhem for a New Era!
Details up there at the "News Section"
Basic flying training for the upcoming Raise the Flag, my minions! You have 2 weeks to fly 4 FREE missions the best you can and send me your pilot files. Up to 5 potential IS-BWs if you demonstrate to be NUTS enough, not to mention the possibility of making all your Squad mates to look like retarded slugs compared to you! Ok, I could have made this one easier but you still want the rest of the Fleet to think you are *STILL* deserving some respect, no? >:-P

Storm Challenge (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED until I recieve CPT Crsepe's word about it.)
Details HERE
Thunder Squadron asked for mayhem... Acknowleged! Fly the missions! Get the HSs if you can! Write reports on how l33t were you while doing it! And show 'em that whenever somebody asks we about something we tend to add "...and kills us btw" to that something.

II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions

Wing X Pilot of the Week (There's no reason for it to remain suspended but I'm not sure. Just fly as much as you can! ;-))
Details HERE
As usual, gents! Our almighty WC, Colonel Domi, will award a bronze shinie in a weekly basis and a silver one per month to whoever demonstrates he's perfectly capable of making the rest of us looking as worse as possible. Fly missions, take IWATS, participate in other comps, drink... and well... drink. Everything counts! Especially to drink. :-D

II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions

Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P

SP/MP Ace of the TIE Corps - November 2008 (Not sure about the MP division but SP definitely works)
Details HERE
Simple, pretty simple: fly as hell, make your CMDR's life miserable BSFing your stuff and earn medals for it. IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Single Player Kill Board. What else do you need to fill your IDline with useless titles as myself? And also a MP division! KILL everybody and feel proud for it!! IS-GW, IS-SW and IS-BW for the 3 best ranking players at the Multiplayer Kill Board. You gotta love it!!

Training Office Recruiting Challenge (Technically available)
Details HERE
An IS-PR... I'm pretty sure many of you think that platinum stuff awardings are just legends and those who actually show such things on their dress uniforms have to pay a monthly fee to the FC himself for him to allow them to lie everybody on how they managed to compite for them. Ok, whatever you say, but whoever first manages to recruit 5! new members for this great club before deadline is in great danger of being awarded one of those. ;-)

TAC's Best (November 2008) (TEMPORALLY SUSPENDED)
Details HERE
The good thing about this one is that you don't need to actually do anything; just fly the best you can and if you manage to get some HSs you'll be in the good way for winning here! ;-D

Match the TAC #11
Details HERE
Check out the link above and you'll see. The objective? Easy... try to match TAC's score in that mission! And remember! For this one don't send your pilot files to your CMDR as usual; they must be sent directly to FA Dempsey and they'll be BSFd at the end of the month. If you fail in such an easy requirement Lady Dempsey will come to you by night with a vengeance and... no, wait, screw that!! *I*'ll come to you by night with a vengeance. >:F

TACcy Quotes
Details HERE
For this one you'll need to read each and every weekly TAC report and... Mmmm? Stop trying to hang yourselves dammit!! What's the problem?! You are right now reading this, right? Then you'll be able to read ANYTHING so shut the hell up you!! >:( Well, as I was telling you, read those reports, find the movie quote lying there and e-mail FA Dempsey as quickly as you can with your answer!

24/7 LoC weekly challenge (Multiplayer!!) (Now with no assigned COO I'm not sure if this one is still valid. But... same as usual; keep those screenies!!)
Details HERE
Never get yourself a DFC was more easy!! Forget all you may have learnt before! Now DFCs are actually awarded for "24/7LoCs" events using the same guidelines as for their classic awardings on hosted events. Kill 3 different people, rank the best player and blahblahblah... Your best bet I tell you! Quick, before someone actually realizes DFCs awarded this way are just too cheap to be truth. :-P

DJB's Inter-Club Training Event (Multiplayer!!) (Keep the screenies if you want, but don't forget to report the matches at the event page as well)
Details HERE
Let's see... What would be the best way of dealing with our "new" Dark Jedi Brotherhood (DJB, former rDB) friends in order to show 'em our willing to cicatrize old injuries between our clubs? What about sending them all to hell via MP while punishing their prides by the book? >;-D All Saturdays 24/7 on Undernet #outerrim IRC channel!

III.) No activity?!! You're in the Eye of the Cyclone, by Palpatine's sake! You should be at least dying!

III.a) Transfers / Promotions/ Awards / Bribes

3-1 LCM Vitaru

Cyclone 2-3 (Flight Member) ---> Cyclone 3-1 (Flight Leader)

And well... as you may already know I've been avoiding to include any medal awarding here even if it's obvious many medals are waiting to be awarded as soon as the database is restored, including my new IS-PW, Vitaru's IS-BR, etc. BUT there are two particular medals which would have been awarded no matter what and that nobody could ever deny you. And they are, of course...

1-1 MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles

Awarded The Order of The Vanguard - Second Echelon!! <--- Two years making your lifes miserable!. xD

3-3 LCM Kael Dalor

Awarded The Order of The Vanguard - Sixth Echelon!! <--- Just keep 'em coming, Lt. Commander!

III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike

( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )

1-1 MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Trying to contact the few remaining inactive Cyclone pilots. AGAIN. :_\
Looking for a Cyclone Flight III Leader!
Finished last TCS assignment.
Started working on yet another TCS assignment.
Important and extended IRC conversations with the TAC and the XO regarding the upcoming RtF.
Awarded my Second Echelon for my Order of the Vanguard!! Two years in the Fleet!! >:D
Send in my try for "TACcy Quotes" on TAC report #284.
It seems I won last "Match the TAC" October competition. Interesting.
It seems I won "TIE Golf" 2008 competition. Quite Interesting. ^^
It seems LC Tempest just won't play against me for that final IS-PW and the "Grand Champion" title. DAMN!!
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!! :_____D
Made an overdue medal warrant for RA Angel.
Appointed LCM Vitaru as the new Cyclone Flight III Leader! ^_^
Submitted a new Cyclone-only flying competition for approval.
Compiled WSR.
Updated Cyclone Site.

1-4 COL Obi-Wan x 10

And another week with no news from you, Colonel. I've already sent you one of my classic "WTF?! e-mails". Now what if you just answer that one so we can sort out this uncomfortable situation ASAP? ;-P

2-1 LCM Ark-illos

10/27/2008 - Flown XWA-DB 1 Mission 1.
10/28/2008 - Flown XWA-DB 1 Mission 2.
10/29/2008 - Flown XWA-DB 1 Mission 3.
10/30/2008 - Flown XWA-DB 1 Mission 4 (Not finished).
10/31/2008 - Sent Flight weekly report in time, excellent!
11/03/2008 - Forwarded his approval for LCM Vitaru to be the new Cyclone Flight III Leader.
Then again, excellent levels of communication, especially by e-mail! ^_^

2-2 SL Ashkar

10/27/2008 - 24/7 LoCs - 2 games against LCM Vitaru.
11/03/2008 - Signed up on the EH Message Boards.
*OUCH* Don't tell me you become mute all of a sudden, Sub-Lieutenant! Use those MBs where you recently signed up to spam us to death by the book! ;-)

3-1 LCM Vitaru

Flown XWA-DB1 Mission 3.
Flown XWA-DB1 Mission 4 (Not finished).
24/7 LoCs - 2 games against SL Ashkar.
Votes for R2D2 for President (¿?).
Flown XWA-DB1 Mission 4.
Submitted a fiction entry for "Let there be FUN from TROUBLE" Cyclone comp.
Flown XWA-DB1 Mission 5.
Submitted FM report in time.
Participated in "Competition time!!!!" comp. at Message Boards.
Appointed Cyclone Flight III Leader! :D
Sent his answers for [AMP] IWATS Course. Waiting to be graded.
Unparalelled levels of communication. Almost daily e-mails and heavy action at the MBs. Not IRC presence yet though.

3-3 LCM Kael Dalor x NASTY-NASTY NUMBER

Come on, Kael!! I haven't heard from you since more than a month ago and even then you were awarded a rank promo and a medal. Hehehe... just imagine what would you have if you decide to come back! ;-) BTW, one of those "WTF?!! e-mails" found its way to your inbox a few days ago; please respond it and let's start doing things as they're supposed to be done, ok?

3-4 LT Siriah Tan

Submitted FM report and updated her activity report website.
Requests a LoA of 3 or 4 days. Approved. =)
Won "Competition Time!!!! (again)" comp. at the Message Boards!! Yay on her! IS-GR to come! :D
Definitely IRC is her oyster. Daily presence on #tiecorps, #emperor's_hammer and #isd_challenge. Not to mention her activity at the MBs. She's always there! :-D

IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)

Fly AT LEAST a mission/battle from the Compendium!!! You're a pilot, not a wardrobe, and this is important!
Take an IWATS. And if you actually learn something maybe you're doing miracles too! ;-D
Fly some MP. Plenty of comps. to do it. If only you could feel The Power of the Pwnage Side©®!!
Drink; as a truly Challengite this is a must to perform. If only you could feel The Power of the Daze Side of the Booze©®!!
Participate in some competition if possible. Cyclone is here to obliterate any opposition hence our nickname!
Contact your Flight Leader or Squadron Commander at least once a week!! This is BUT VERY important in order to mantain your arse within the roster. CMDR may well have the nasty mania of kicking mute people out of the airlock...
Be always loyal to the TIE Corps Fleet, then the ISD Challenge and Wing X, then Cyclone.
Kill any rebel scumb, dirty smuggler or pathetic pirate on sight and with a smile on your face. Cleaning 'da house!
Have fun doing all this stated above! Now this one is a f****** order; if you don't accomplish with this one you're really doing nothing. Go away and make something better with your life like having a pathetic RL job, trying for your wife to not cheat you with a REAL PILOT... ahem...
It would be sooo simetric and perfect for you to have a 10th order... but you haven't. :-P

Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Sov or something... ¬_¬

V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. Commander's Corner)

Finally it seems that Major Zósite, The Wicked CMDR of Cyclone™, has just found the perfect Flight Leader to command his Flight III, the legendary "Gale Providers". And the guy deserved it! Of course he did; his neverending list of epic failures and unforgettable insubordinations (like excellent flying performance, full-time dedication to his Squadron, excellence in communications and blahblahblahblah...) have bestowed him the right to command such a handful of deranged flying psychos. Right now, at new Vitaru's FL Office, MAJ Zós is trying to kill the poor dudah using from his classic "dramatic speech® - Damage: 1D20 + 4D4 + 3" in this critical moment for the Lt. Commander's career.

<MAJ Zós> And here you are, Vitaru, due to your outstanding performance as a pilot, your commitment to Cyclone, your impressive levels of communication through all sorts of media and last, but not least, the confidance I decided to put on you and my conviction that you'll improve even further. My most sincere congrats, Lt. Commander. Any questions?

<LCM Vitaru> Well, Major... emmm... there's something actually. Could you please detail me how exactly my responsabilities would differ from those of a simple Flight Member when related to my pilots?

<MAJ Zós> Easy. Listen to my verb, my friend: now your pilots come FIRST. And when I say first I mean FIRST!! Now you work for them and not the other way around. Yesterday your only responsability was only to do your best as a pilot for the good of your Squadron, Wing and Ship as a whole, but today those 3 rabid killers are your main concern. Help them as much as necessary or even more! They need from you and you need to guide them so they can achieve the best from themselves here. Soon you'll see that they'll be more than pleased to help you in this task and...

Suddenly a black shiny Cybot Galactica protocol droid comes into the office from behind a wall. Problem comes from the fact that it didn't use a door and now Cyclone CMDR and FL look through the hole, almost expecting to see good old Vertigo there on one of his iconoclast onslaughts after having realized someone changed his trusty DH-17 Duty Blaster for a water-pistol yet again. But no... CPT Vertigo left "The Demolition Crew" more than a month ago (some people say that otherwise the mighty 'Chal' would be nowadays nothing but space dust; he needed some vacations you see...); the only person standing over the debris and now showing her head through the hole is no other than Lieutenant Siriah Tan, Cyclone 3-4 and now also Flight Member of Vitaru's Flight.

<MAJ Zós> Ok, Lieutenant. Now let's play that one where you tell me why on earth did you find so useful to blow up one of our walls using that silly onyx ingot and I consider not blowing up your head. ¬¬

<LT Siriah> Sorry, Sir. It was all the fault of this T-21 Light Repeating Blaster I borrowed from our Stormtrooper divisions. The wall seems to not have been solid enough to withstand its detonation plus the weight of the droid it shot. ^_^u

<MAJ Zós> Indeed. And you shot him because...

<LT Siriah> Well, it's supposed to be a droid used on interrogations, but when I tried to use it on Fleet Admiral Dempsey for her to reveal me a few TAC secrets on mission creation the bastard told me that some silly basic directive disallowed him to torture members of the Command Staff. So I just brought it back here and...

<MAJ Zós> Ok, Lieutenant. Now dissapear from here at once, keep enjoying your """LoA""" and please remind me to shoot you at point-blank range on our next flight assignment.

<LT Siriah> Errr... yes, Major! :-P

<LCM Vitaru> ... (:___| ...

As soon as the crazy lady abandons the office, Major Zósite addresses Cyclone Flight III Leader again.

<MAJ Zós> Well, there you have one of your two current pilots. I hope you'll be able to sharp her wrath at least a little; this time was only one of your office's walls but I've seen how she looks the engineering sections and a few days ago she finally dared to tell me she doesn't like the decoration over there.

<LCM Vitaru> I... I'll see t-to it...

<MAJ Zós> Now the other FM of yours is our most veteran TIE Corps pilot, Lt. Commander Kael Dalor, Cyclone 3-3. I look forward for you to be able to use his wise teachings coming from his own long experience here. You can be his direct superior, but don't forget that out there experience can save your arse much more than your position pin will ever can.

<LCM Vitaru> Acknowledged. I can't wait to start learning from him and it's all an honour to command such an experienced pilot. :-)

<MAJ Zós> And you won't need to wait. Here you are!

Zósite grabs something from under the desk and leaves it at his side, standing on the floor. And it looks like... like...

<MAJ Zós> Lt. Commander Vitaru, let me introduce you Lt. Commander Dalor, your Flight Member. Lt. Commander Dalor, this is Lt. Commander Vitaru, your new Flight Leader. Now you'll have to treat him with the same respect and obedience you used with me when I was your FL just a month ago.

<LCM Vitaru> BUT... BUT... that's not a pilot. That's a cardboard model! 0__o

<MAJ Zós> Well... yes. But sadly this is the only LCM Dalor you can have nowadays. The fact is that he seems to be pretty lost right now and hang me if I know where. I'm actually considering the possibility of him falling into one of my huge chalquilla barrels and not been able to find his way out... or not willing to do so. Somehow he also managed to avoid the last Flight Office AWOL Check using THIS and after FA La'an came to know about he told me (ordered me for that matter) that since THIS was which actually passed the Check, THIS is what we're going to use until the LCM decides to return. Funny, isn't it?

<LCM Vitaru> Forwarding orders to a dummy... definitely sounds like La'an high on the fumes. -__-U

<MAJ Zós> Ohhh, come on. Don't look so desperate. Remember you'll always have Lt. Commander Ark-illos, your old mate and Flight II Leader, there to help you as necessary. Since he has been FL for some time now he'll be able to help you in sorting out any inconvenience you may find with your own subordinates. Now let's contact him and you'll be able to heard his agreement on this. ^_^

Major Zósite uses the office's communicator to call in Cyclone Flight II Leader.

<MAJ Zós> Ark! Ark, you there? I have LCM Vitaru here and we like you to come to his new office and...

<LCM Ark-illos> Welcome, Sub-Lieutenant Ashkar, we have a matter to discuss... Where is the location of MY SHORTS?!!! SPEAK ALREADY YOU FILTHY SCUMBAG!

<MAJ Zós & LCM Vitaru> ...

<LCM Ark-illos> Nooooooooow you shall pay for your treachery!!!

Major Zósite cuts the communication.

<MAJ Zós> Well, it's obvious he's very busy right now and... emm... temporary... ehhh... unable to fulfill my request. You know... ejem...

<LCM Vitaru> Why me? -__-U²

<MAJ Zós> Besides, you'll be able to ask for help not only to Cyclone members but also to our flags in case of necessity. I'm pretty sure Colonel Domi and Rear Admiral Angel will be more than pleased to help you on anything you may need if you can't hold on any of us. Let's call them as well; now they shouldn't be too busy and at least one of them, if not both, must be at the command bridge at this time.

The Wicked CMDR of Cyclone opens a new channel directly to the ISD Challenge command bridge.

<MAJ Zós> Colonel Domi? Rear Admiral Angel? Sirs, this is Major Zósite Kónstyte Styles from Cyclone quarters and I'd like you to help us a little if you don't mind. I have my newest Flight Leader, LCM Vitaru, here and we'd like you to confirm that...

<RA Angel> I find your excess of idiocy disturbing, Domi!! Please tell me again how the hell those bloody Rebels managed to escape our orbit blockade over their tiny planet!

<COL Domi> Not sure, Sir. Could it be related to the fact that SOMEONE here ordered the ship to exit hyperspace 15 DAMNED CLICKS AWAY FROM PLANET'S ORBIT?!!!

<RA Angel> No way!!! I just used the coordinates you provided me coming from that tactical report of yours! Now if you only would be kind enough to actually use the resources at your disposal to make those reports and not only the rumours you hear at the Wing Cantina every now and then...

<COL Domi> Sorry, Sir. But I find it hard to concentrate on my reports there with you snoring while laying over a nearby table as if you were... a Klatoonian or something...

<RA Angel> How you dare you dirty little pile of...?!!!

<COL Domi> I dare, Sir! I dare because nobody else here has what it needs to tell you that...!!!!

The Wicked CMDR of Cyclone closes the channel to the ISD Challenge command bridge.

<MAJ Zós> Ummm... better to wait for them to sort out their little differences on tactical analysis, right? ^_^u

<LCM Vitaru> How long do you say it takes to die on your own cockpit after removing your pilot helmet?

<MAJ Zós> Tsk, tsk... that's not the way of performance, Lt. Commander. You better calm down and listen to me. It seems you're forgetting something very important. If the rest of Cyclone fail to help you and even before trying to contact your flags... you'll always have myself right here to provide you help and all sorts of advises and information as your CMDR! ;-)

<LCM Vitaru> ...

LCM Vitaru abandons his office all of a sudden and slowly walks away, his head down, his eyes fixed on the shiny floor panels. Soon afterwards Major Zósite wakes up from a little nap and goes looking for his Flight III Leader in order to ask him what was the problem and if he said something inconvenient for him to leave in such a disrespectful way. And Cyclone CMDR finds his FL exactly where he guessed...

Lt. Commander Vitaru lays under a table at Wing X Cantina. One of his hands is contracted around an empty bottle, the other still grabbing the leg of a chair. Up to 10 additional empty bottles decorating the table above him.

<MAJ Zós> Excellent, Vitaru!! I see you got the picture! Now you're ready to accomplish with your duties as expected. ^_^

<LCM Vitaru> ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.................

Future Cyclone FL
It's not easy to be a Cyclone FL! It requires the utmost commitment and dedication. But Vitaru had what it needs! See him here several years ago, but already performing as if he would know what glorious future was waiting for him.

VI. Who's who on demolishing bussiness (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings)

(Not necessary to mention that without a working database these ranks are as updated as the damned FMC website and none of the profile links work... :P)

Gladiator [GLDR] (4500 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points)

[5652] & [509] MAJ Zósite Kónstyte Styles

Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & Officer 3rd (40 points)

[121] & [42] LCM Ark-illos

Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & No rank (0 points)

[98] & [0] LCM Kael Dalor

Lancer [LANC] (40 points) & Officer 4th (30 points)

[47] & [32] LCM Vitaru

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] SL Ashkar

No rank (0 points) & No rank (0 points)

[0] & [0] LT Siriah Tan

? (? points) & ? (? points)

[?] & [?] COL Obi-Wan

VII.) It's like playing Twister but... (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations)

W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You HAD it in the TC site... But! But!...
Ok... Ok... you want it you get it!

CYCLONE SQUADRON OF WING X : Heavy Assault
COMMANDER: MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
NICKNAME: The Demolition Crew
BANNER: cyclone.jpg
MOTTO: "Destruction Imminent"
HOMEPAGE: http://cyclone.isdchallenge.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewforum.php?f=32

FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) COL Obi-Wan

What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...

FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Eye of the Storm
Motto: "Fear us not. Fear the destruction that comes with us"
1) MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) COL Obi-Wan

FLIGHT II - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: Wind of Change
Motto: "Changing enemies into space dust"
1) LCM Ark-illos
2) SL Ashkar
3) TBA
4) TBA

FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: Gale Providers
Motto: "May you have the hell wind at your face and my lasers at your six"
1) LCM Vitaru
2) TBA
3) LCM Kael Dalor
4) LT Siriah Tan

Squadron Citations (?):

Cyclone citations

Respectfully NUTS in service:

--- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow ---

CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/MAJ Zosite Konstyte Styles/Cyclone/Wing X/ISD Challenge
GS/SSx3/BSx9/PCx2/ISM/MoI-BC/IS-74BW-31BR-42SW-13SR-32GW-5GR-3PW/LoC-RSx2-CSx7-Rx4/DFC-SW-Rx4/MoC-13BoC-2SoC-2GoC-1PoC-1DoC/CoLx2/CoB/OV-2E [GLDR]
{IWATS-AIM-AMP-ASP-BFM-BX-CBX-CSS-DW-HIST-IBX-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-JS-LIN-M/1/2-MCBS-MP/2-MS-PHP-SM/3-TLN-TM/1/2-TT-VBS-WM-WPN-XAM-XMD-XML-XTM/1-XTT-XWAC-XWAI}
SP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / MP Ace of the TIE Corps 2007 / Top Gun of RtF 2007 / Grand Champion of TIE Golf 2008 / Ace of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Multiplayer Ace of Feb07-Mar07-Apr07-Jun07-Jul07-Sep07-Nov07 / TAC's best of Sep07-Oct07-Nov07-Dec07-Aug08 / Wing X Pilot of Dec06-Jan07-Feb07-Apr07-Oct07-Nov07 / Challenge Top Gun of Jul07 TIE/XWA-Aug07 TIE/XWA-Sep07 TIE/XWA-Oct07 TIE/XWA-Nov07 TIE/XWA / Cyclone Pilot of Mar07-Apr07-Jun07 / Member of Cyclone, Wing Commander's Own on Oct 08

"There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."